The Monk who taught me HUMILITY

Passion and purpose

I remember when I was young all I never knew what I wanted to do but I always did what I was either told to do or simply went along with the flow. I was always just going with the flow really and never ceased to question life but always accepted things as they were. In high school that was the norm for me, I would play rugby simply because everyone else did then I would play cricket because everyone else did, I never really stopped and asked myself what I wanted to do.

As I got older and somehow miraculously passed till matric my father started asking me questions about what I wanted to do or become after High school. This was something that I had never really thought about and for the most part of my life I never considered that so I did what I always did I asked around and goth the answer.  Everyone was going to be a Microsoft Computer Systems Engineer. At the time I could barely pronounce it let alone know what it was.

So on another drive back home my dad asked me what I wanted to be so I proudly said a Microsoft Computer Systems Engineer. Till this day I have no idea what that is but it sounded so important. I could see that my dad was very proud of that and simply knew that his son was going to be something great.

Later on in the year I saw a movie called Gladiator and our high school musical band was playing the soundtrack to it. Something happened to me that day. I was struck by this passion that I couldn’t shake off. I kept reciting the words over and over again. “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

It was as though I knew that what I wanted to do was to become an actor and not just any actor but I would become an award winning actor. I knew that I had found something that I was truly passionate about and that my life would never be the same again. I had found my purpose and passion that day and something deep down inside me told me that I was going to be an award winning actor.

I went on to study drama and got my first role when I was in 2nd year for a TV made film called Heartlines the BET. This was my acting debut and was the greatest learning curve for me. We were young and hungry and would do anything to get the shot we needed. They say that there is nothing like the first time one does anything because its fun and there are no political battles or worries of any kind.

Years later I somehow set a goal that I would be an award winning actor. I had written this on the wall and every morning would read through it. “I am an award winning actor. “This would be like a song from a broken record but every time I would say it I would persevere on and even though I was not working at the time I knew that my award winning role was coming and that soon I would be holding my award and saying the speech.

I finally auditioned for a role in a series called Ugugu no Andile which was Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet but the South African depiction. After 5 call back I was called and notified that I had got the role. I knew that this was life changing because I had not worked for a while and this was the role that was going to do something great for my career.

We filmed and a year later the film was nominated for 10 awards at the Africa movie Academy Awards and I was one of the guys who was nominated. That year I won the award for the most promising actor. That was the moment that I noticed that all of my efforts had finally paid off.

I learnt that when you find what you are passionate about never give up on it and always push and persevere until it happens. The road is filled with many setbacks but if you focus all of your energies and have daily reminders of where you want to go then you will always be where you see yourself at. Find your passion and live it out on a daily basis no matter how bad it gets things will get better.

The Path Method

In my experience of over a decade of personal development and going on the often tumultuous journey of understanding myself, I have come across many books, videos and sometimes courses that try to explain to me who I am and how to deal with the painful issues that life has dealt me with.

On my journey I later discovered that I have stored and locked up many of these painful experiences of rejection, longing and deep and utter sadness in places that I often never knew existed or somehow as a way of protecting myself I locked it up in the depths of my unexplored and painful pit of dark despair.

I carried these memories with me and they would often creep up when I least expected them which led to my extreme insecurities and unexplained sadness. As an adult who was well into my working years somehow these memories or experiences would torment me and paralyze my progress and keep me in a state which I often could not understand

I knew that there was a lot of work that I needed to do in order to overcome this prison but I was never up for it for a long time because facing myself in all of my naked imperfections and getting to know the monster that had grown to an overwhelming size was a task that felt insurmountable. It was too late for me I thought, I would never be able to fully live to realise my full potential because something was wrong with me or I just wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve it.

These were constant conversations that played in the back of my head day in and day out and kept me trapped in a way of playing small just so the monster I created could grow and live and suppress the greatest version of myself. I was insecure, scared and absolutely overwhelmed by how not so good I was, even though at face value I put on a brave face, smiled and walked around as though I knew what I was doing.

I was determined somehow to learn and grow and become the best version of myself and when I met with Dana and Raoul at an introductory workshop about the Path method which I had no idea about I was immediately intrigued by the simplicity of having to go so deep and reach the pit of dark despair and surface it with great honesty and openness where we could have a conversation, learn from it and heal it somehow.

I had never experienced something so simple yet powerful in my entire life before and whats even greater was that I could go home and continue the healing work by myself. As an avid personal development student I had to explore more and get to know about this so called PATH method because our first interaction opened a doorway that I thought I was not brave enough to  ever walk through.

Day by day I would replay my first encounter with the PATH method and I thought to myself if I could go so easily into that space under the guidance of Dr Raoul perhaps I can uncover other aspects of myself that needed transformation and healing because after 30 years of living a life less than I felt worthy of perhaps it was time to go deeper and get to know that part of myself

The timing seemed to be perfect as workshops were scheduled in a few weeks’ time and I enthusiastically joined and committed to uncovering more of what I had experienced. On the day there were many interesting individuals most of whom were healers or homeopaths. Several participants went before me and when I was presented with an opportunity I jumped on it.

We explored and came across the young version of myself who just wanted to be embraced and told that he was loved. He was often alone rejected and never really experienced love especially from the one person who he needed it from the most my father. So during the session I created the father I needed and became all that was required in order to heal myself from the traumas of my past.

The session ended off with an incredibly spiritual experience of song and dance where I felt so deeply connected to a love that I had never experienced before. This was the first time that I had I felt that I was good enough and worthy and deserving of love. I was in utter bliss and tears fell from my eyes. The session ended with a warm embrace from Dr Goldberg and from that moment on I knew that things would never be the same.

In all of my personal development explorations I have never experienced anything quite so simple yet effective, the way in which Dr Goldberg guides one into these spaces and gently allows you into the pain then helps you become an observer of the pain but whats most astonishing is how you become the solution and that all you need is within you.

The Path method is a highly intuitive journey that truly makes one realise that you are your own healer and that transformation begins the moment you allow yourself to be open enough to step in and step out of your darkness and become the expansive light that finds solutions to all your problems.

Can money buy you happiness?

This is an ancient old age question does money buy you happiness or not? I personally don’t get this question because from where I stand you should find a way to be happy with or without money but hey that’s just me. I mean look at some of the poorest people in the world people who have close to nothing they somehow seem to sometimes not all the time have a broader, more genuine smile than most of the wealthiest people in the world. They have far fewer problems and life seems more enjoyable.

I often find myself asking what is it about them that make them smile so damn much and be so happy regardless of the little that they have? Perhaps it’s not knowing, I mean think about it when you have never seen a Ferrari you never find yourself wishing that you had one because its just never been a reality for you so perhaps they find the beauty of life in their circumstances and surroundings, they find joy in interacting with individuals whom they encounter and if by the end of the day they can have a meal in their stomachs and a roof over their heads they are happy.

Perhaps wealth, to people who have very little money is defined by the time you spend with family, waking up every morning and walking around, appreciating the small things like being able to laugh and not cry, not stress about things which they have no control over and heard their flock or whatever it is that they do.

They have learnt to just live without it and make do with whatever they have? I don’t think their happiness is dependent on the money but I’m sure if they had more money they would most likely still be in a happy place because they have realised that happiness is not dependant on what you have but who and what you choose to be.

So as a normal Joe soap like you and I even with all the money we work our but off to make we somehow find this “HAPPINESS” thing to be so elusive because all our time is spent working and we never really have time to enjoy the money that we have because we have to work to ensure that we can keep up with the bills which each and every month seem to get more and more.

I mean think about why is it that regardless of how many glorious promotions we seem to get we always find ourselves in the same predicament, its just not enough, the more money we get the more debts and stuff we buy which lead us back to the same dilemma that we have been facing, too much month at the end of the money.

One of the greatest quotes coms from B.C Forbes and he said real riches are the riches possessed inside.

What this basically means is that happiness or riches or whatever it is that you are looking for is something that can never be found on the outside, no amount of money can make you feel happy because its just like chasing a temporary high it feels great, exhilarating and exciting for a bit then after a while it goes away then you have to chase it again and again and again.

Research states that money alone doesn’t guarantee you happiness, you are far happier when you acquire life experiences than material possessions. So in as much as we need money to live we also need to create a new relationship with it so that we can eventually find happiness through living life to the fullest and creating memories that are unforgettable with our loved ones.